Elmo is Satan - Here is Proof

People mock my fear of Elmo. He. Is. Evil. Pure and simple. Chucky wishes he could be anywhere near his league of evilness. Here is exhibit "A" in the proof that Elmo wants to eat your Soul.

Exhibit "B" is this Sound Clip of Elmo reversed and slowed down. Ever have a Tickle me Elmo go off by itself? Probably just shrugged it off as dying batteries or other stuffed animals pressing against the area which set Elmo off (like lesser minions summoning Elmo is any better!). This sound sample will change your mind. (He says "What the Fuck! Whoa! Hohoho!)

And as another clear headed person said about Elmo:

Elmo is not a role model for the speech developement of children. First is the constant referral of himself in the third person, as in, "Elmo so happy to see you!" and, "Elmo loves his goldfish," and, "Elmo would like to introduce you to his friend, Mr. DeNiro!" (Note: Deniro once played Satan... wink wink) and of course, no one speaks in the third person except for hoodlums, criminals, and (insert celeb here).
The next thing about his speech that is derivative is that he consistantly leaves out the existence verb, to be. This is in such sentences as "Elmo so happy to see you!" and "Elmo going to play with Zoe now." This encourages people to embrace Nihilism and show that it is better to not exist, consequently causing them to become cruel and mean.